Pick a flower and blow!Today, let’s talk about some of the advertisements for some of the products available for us to ensure better health.
The first one I want to talk about is so absurd that if it didn’t cost $70 I would try it. The claim is such: If mother nature had her way, we’d all be squatting rather than sitting when having a bowel movement because it’s the best position for the human body to completely eliminate in all ways. But the modern toilet makes this impossible. That’s why we all should use this gadget. It’s angled footpads elevate the feet and allow the pelvis, digestive track, Colon, legs, and hips to support a thorough evacuation of waste, preventing such common conditions as hemorrhoids , bladder incontinence, constipation, diverticulosis, and IBS. Price: $70
I fell for this one. Remove hairs on your face or in delicate areas for smooth skin in the privacy of your home. Used to remove hair by the ruts for up to six weeks on your upper lip, chin, cheeks, or bikini line as soon as it appears -- -- even hairs as short as 11 hundredths of an inch -- -- and never wait for a salon appointment. This is a perfect way to touch up any area, including under arms. Let me tell you this, that any time you pull hairs with an electric/battery-operated “plucker” on your upper lip it is going to make a pucker. Price: $30-70.
Do you believe that if you mix rosemary, eucalyptus, and vetiver together you will have a revitalizing mineral bath which treats exhaustion and washes away the years of abuse your body has taken? Do you believe that this sell perks you up again in a way that is no joke? According to the claim, rosemary refreshes and stimulates sore, stiff, overworked muscles. Eucalyptus eases aches and pains in muscles and joints. And vetiver is considered the oil of tranquility as it soothes and relaxes your body. Price $20.
How many of you still use hankies? Then here is a deal for you! Creative and practical, 100% cotton floral embroidered hankies are machine washable. The picture shows 12 hankies neatly pressed in a stack. I only remember my grandmother pulling a rumpled one out of her “pocketbook” and wiping her dripping nose. Women’s hankies are $20 a dozen; men’s are $30 a dozen. Women’s are 11 inches square, men’s all our 16 inches square. Does that mean men’s noses run more? I think man should carry handkerchiefs so that when their wives or sweethearts want cry at movies they have something to offer. I am happy to say that I have such a gentleman in my life!
I want to talk about handkerchiefs as I have photographic images of my grandfather and he is bandanna/railroad handkerchiefs which were faded navy blue. He wore it in his back pocket of his bib overalls, which, because of numerous washings, were also soft and faded, as was the chambray shirt he wore.
I want to talk about daddy who took a clean handkerchief every morning. The first thing he did with it was wash his classes. He did not fold his handkerchief, rather he stuffed it into his back pocket with the points of it sticking out. He left it stick out so it was easier to get when he had to sneeze. I can still see him walking to the garage or to the barn with the telltale tail of his handkerchief sticking out of the pocket of his khaki pants.
When mother was ill and in the San, some of our family was reconditioned to use tissue. The most common brand at the time was Kleenex. It was a way of blowing your nose and discarding the germs. When people at the San answered the telephone which was in the parlor, they would first put a tissue in their hand and then pick up the phone. After the conversation they would discard the tissue. This was the way back in the late 40s to help keep germs from spreading. Now there’s a commercial on where you’re supposed to spray you phone with Lysol.
Mother took the education of using tissue rather than handkerchiefs, to a new level. In early grade school when they checked your hands in the morning to be sure they were clean and asked you to show your hanky, I did not have one. Instead I had several Kleenex neatly folded in a stack. Imagine a first grader getting her fingers wrapped with a ruler because tissue was not, in the teacher’s opinion, satisfactory.
Mother always had tissue in her purse. It may have lips ticked blots or it may have a wad of chewed gum but she always had a tissue.
When my children started school among the necessities was a box of tissue. As I have said before the boxes were collected and used as needed. As I have said before the boxes on the teacher’s desk and you were supposed to be able to know when your sneeze was coming so you could get to her desk get your tissue ahead of the achew! Although I questioned the school’s motives it fell on deaf ears. Remembering my own childhood and the deaf ears of my teachers it just seems easier to send tissue to school with them in a plastic bag if they have had a cold.
When Mrs. Shaw, a teacher with decades of teaching, retired, she had a yard sale. She had enough hankies to make a Perkins size flag. She also had a table of mini toilet water bottles.
Just one more absurd item and we’ll call it a day. This is for men’s long underwear -- -- the Union suit or long johns advertises as light weight 100% cotton underwear which fits comfortably under clothes, even under everyday business attire, making it perfect for all activities. You will feel warm and dry indoors and out. Our full-length Union suit, available in white or red, button front and vertical seats flat in the back with one button. I will have to ask my sweet Thomas if he wants me to order him a pair or two for just $30.00 a pair.
Flapless in Fargo,
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