Please, please, please-- let me do just one set of absurd ads!

I don’t know who influenced mother back in the mid to late 50s . Without announcement, each morning at breakfast, there were two vitamin/mineral tablets in our spoons. Perhaps some one can be convinced that cod liver oil, an excellent source of omega-3 fatty acids, vitamin A. and D. was good for our health along with a hearty breakfast. Fortunately we didn’t have to drink a teaspoon a day to promote our healthy hearts, bowels and brain; nor did we have to drink the cod liver oil to nourish our skin, hair, nails, and ease the pain and joint stiffness. For those of you who would like to buy an 8 ounce bottle, it’s available for $30. The ad states it tastes just like you remember.

What I remember mostly about those two capsules in the spoon, was not the taking of the pills, nor a thank you to mother for being concerned about my brain. What I remember is the parakeet. Mr. Chips, who was let out of his cage in the morning, like to sit and poop on the black topped table and play with the pills. I especially remember when my brother would come to the table, and the bird with squawk at him because he either tried to push him away or take the birds toys away, in this case, the vitamins.

The ritual on the tabletop would be over once Greg took his vitamins and drive the bird away. The parakeet would go back to his cage for a moment before dive bombing into my brother’s Vaseline and water slippery hair. There are two things to consider when you think about this:

1. My brother had fine hair, getting it styled just the way he wanted to a great deal of time, lots of grease in the sink where he mixed it and splatters on the mirror from combing it all forward. I should watch Tom comb his hair sometime, I wonder how he does it.
2. The rest of the family laughing at the scenario. Imagine a 6 foot lanky kid with orangutan long arms trying to stave off a parakeet who weighed only ounces. Shame on me for still giggling about it!

OTHER SALE PITCHES FOR YOU
Some folks call this old-time tonic of apple cider vinegar in 14 herbs and spices the elixir of life. For many it brings relief from arthritis symptoms, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and sinus condition. Others claim this all-natural remedy boosts the immune system so they’re less vulnerable to colds and flu is and helps the body heal faster. Others swear by it as a formula to general good health. Just take 1 ounce a day mixed with water and see for yourself. Giant 25 ounce bottle $25. (Doesn’t last a month, do you see that)?

THAT DIDN’T WORK? TRY THIS:
Do you feel tired all the time? Get energized with all natural herbal liquid iron supplement. One can get 50 servings for $34. Let’s see what it says it can do: If you’re fatigued, have difficulty concentrating, have brittle hair, or persistently cold hands and feet you may have an iron deficiency. One serving of this easy to digest iron supplement contains 100% of the daily requirement of most easily absorbed and non-constipating kind of iron. It quickly brings the iron stores back to normal and has you feeling like yourself
again.

SERUTAN
What was in that concoction that was advertised as nature’s spelled backwards? How do you spell natures backwards anyway? S-E-R-U-T-A-N. Is that it? Serutan. I don’t know if my grandparents took it or not, I do know that it was aimed at the older audience; folks at watched Lawrence Welk and the Ted Mack’s amateur hour. It seems to me that these shows also were sponsored by Geritol, which my grandfather took because he didn’t have any pep.

GERITOL
It’s still available. The name was derived from the root,”geri”, meaning old, the “I” was for iron. The product was promoted as a cure for iron poor tired blood. In the early 20th century, many medical doctors and other health professionals felt that much of the tiredness often associated with old age was due to iron deficiency anemia. This was later discredited, but Geritol was already well known in and continued to be marketed.

Geritol and its advertising were the inspiration for I Love Lucy when she was doing the ad for Vitameatavegamin, and gets drunk. The liquid Geritol contains alcohol.

In the 1970s, Geritol was famous for its series of commercials in which a man boasts of his wife’s seemingly limited energy and her many accomplishments, concluding,” my wife… I think I’ll keep her”. And believe it or not this was the inspiration for Mary Chapin Carpenter’s hit in the early 90s called “He thinks he’ll keep her.”

For those of you who are country music fans, you’ll remember George Jones singing I don’t need your rockin’ chair. The first line of the chorus is” I don’t need your Rockin’ chair, your Geritol or your Medicare.”

Another free advertisement for Geritol comes from the song ”You’re Timeless to Me” from the muscial verison of Hair Spray, when Edna and Wilbur sing about growing old. Edna sings the line, “You’ll wear a wig, while I roast a pig, pass the Geritol.


For the life of me I had no idea why a mother had a douche/enema bag in the cabinet under the sink in the bathroom. I’m not sure which used it for. I can find a lot of ways to spend $25 rather than to buy a latex free two quart vinyl water bottle with a hanging hook and stopper, and 48 inches of tubing with a shut off valve, pipe adapter, enema pipe, and douche pipe. Apparently every drugstore carried them a one time. I wonder if they were in under the counter item? I wonder if Mabel, at Rexall, wrapped them in brown paper like she did feminine napkins. I wonder if she went from wrapping douche bags to serving Little Dicks at the soda fountain? I have sent my concerns about overuse of either pipe to someone who is all-knowing. Let’s hope she can shine some light up what one does with 2 quarts of water and how often.

I did go to the drug store to research. I did buy a bottle of Geritol as a spirit marker. I know it has too much iron in it for me to drink on a daily basis. I am wondering how bad it tastes. I wonder if it will give me pep, like my grandfather said it would.