BRIGHT LIGHT

Ella is seen lifting her glass in a toast. The occasion was a small dinner party in the conference room at a nursing home. Care was taken to invite a group which would meld together. The table was set with the best of decor to give the illusion of a fine, unique restaurant. The concept happened monthly, always with a new group under the watchful eye of the activity director. Although the gift was for the residents; those who helped received the blessing. It is, after all, the nature of life that giving or receiving both are benefactors.

The name ELLA means torch in Greek. If you know an Ella, then you know a bright light. Ellen is a variant.

Perhaps the universal code is the need for Old Trunks to have these sort of stars called Ella and Ellen's in her life. All of them are examples of over coming, keep on going, never give up, and generally do not complain.

The Ella in the picture is an example of a torch. I met her in the nursing home. She is an example of someone I worked for turned friendship.

It all started because I was the only CNA that washed her feet. I would take a really warm cloth, wash, then wrap them in a towel and cover them up with a blanket before I got her ready for the day.

No one knew what sort of trust bond the two of us had until I went to Kansas to find my own dandelion to break the shackles of the long North Dakota winter. Ella refused to get out of bed. She was afraid she would fall. It is common for residents in nursing homes to have favorite aides, yet all the staff are capable of care. Upon my return, she was, once again, up in her chair and moving about.

Do you ever wonder what puts two people in the friendship column? With us, it was little things. Let's talk about them.

Ella knew I had gone south, upon my return to Fargo, I promised her the first dandelion I saw, I would bring to her and that would be the herald of spring. The dandelion popped up in a crack next to the building. We put it in a glass of water, as we all know, dandelions do not stay open and bright, they fold up. Yet, this was, after all announcing spring and when some one threw it away she was furious.

We would pick pussy willows in the early spring and bring them to her. She liked to watch them leaf out.

When she got flowers from her family, she liked to have them woven into a wreath with ribbons and left for the roses to dry in a natural state. The two of us would sit on the veranda in the sun and plan the wreath project together. She liked blue trimming the best.

When you are in a small room and spend a lot of time reading, obviously you are in bed. Ella was a reader. She read the local paper, her hometown paper, and had subscriptions to rag magazines. The cleaning staff tried to relieve her of all this newsprint, it would not be so. We set up a filing system and used a box on a chair next to her bed. What ever was in there was off limits.

She made friends easily. Her room mate was hard of hearing and Ella, in her frail state, was not in position to go to her bed and talk as loudly as needed. Many times a day, you would see Sophie and Ella on their phones.....talking to each other.

For all of us who worked the north wing at the time, our favorite story had to be the morning we got the room mates teeth mixed up. We only knew it because Sophie thought there was something under her dentures after breakfast. Where others may have been upset, the two of them found it humorous.

Recently, I was converting old cards to title pages for albums. I found a note Ella's family had sent after she died. It had to do with the bouquet of pussy willows and roses, and light blue ribbons, which represented her wisdom, her love of nature, and her love of the color of the sky. I was named her pal and her confidante. What more of a gift could anyone receive than a friendship with an Ella?

Find one and find out.

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