THE CASE OF THE MAULED PIZZA

A couple of weeks ago, I made a couple of pizzas. I placed each of them in an 8x8 pan. We ate one, and I froze the other in the pan. It would be our supper last night. I had figured, since it was frozen, I could turn the pan over and bang on it, forcing it to fall out on a piece of foil, which it did.

Since we like crust that is crispy, the idea was to place the pizza directly on the rack. That is what is recommended by commercial pizza places that you buy and freeze as well as ones you buy at the market.

We waited for the minutes to tick by, Tom said he could smell it much earlier than I so I got up to check. The timer had not yet gone off.

The center of the pizza had fallen through the grate and landed on a drip pan previously used for pie. All the crust from the edges was stuck to the rack! It was really funny but it was also pretty sad looking. It looked like we had already eaten it!

Tom was laughing so hard as the two of us picked the crust off the rack, mainly because I present food that looks good as well as tastes good. We scraped it all on to a bread board and set it on the table and ate it with a fork. I did not offer a different meal and we ate every bit of it!

That is my scary Halloween story and I am sticking to it, just like the pizza stuck to the rack!

TEN COMMANDMENTS

ONE: 'You shall have no other gods before Me.'

TWO: 'You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth

THREE: 'You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.'

FOUR: 'Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.'

FIVE: 'Honor your father and your mother.'

SIX: 'You shall not murder.'

SEVEN: 'You shall not commit adultery.'

EIGHT: 'You shall not steal.'

NINE: 'You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.'

TEN: 'You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.'

GIRL SCOUT LAWS

Trust

Loyalty

Helpful to others

Friend and sister to other scouts

Courteous

Friend to animals

Obeys orders

Cheerful

Thrifty

Clean in thought, word, and deed.
(Exception: While fishing I say shit when the fish throws the hook).

AND WHAT IS ON YOUR PLATE?

Most of us interact in some way with several people a day. Perhaps it is family, others at occupations, and for many retirees, it is game playing on line. I get annoyed at times by people who do not accept gifts graciously. Well, I do that in real life, too.

But I had a dream last night and got up and moved around after so I could remember.

Let's say My Sweet Thomas and I go to a buffet for dinner. Ya, sure, ya betcha, Tom is going to be long on meat and potatoes and short on veggies. And that is okay. I am going to be long on the veggies and short on the meat, well, not that short, but you get the drift, we both pick different things to put on our plate although the general agreement is the establishment is okay to both of us.

Even when we fast food we eat different sandwiches. But I am not harping on him because he eats a club while I am enjoying a BLT.

And such as it is in life and certainly on Internet games, where people threaten one another if they send them one more thing called a special delivery. Threaten? Yes, YOU WILL BE IGNORED. So? The other person doesn't know if you have ignored it, so why waste energy being a bully?

Why be a poop and tell something they have too many chickens?

Why tell poor little old G that she has to stop writing Bible verses? Why not tell her to spell check her verses?

Sometime in each of our lives we learned a few rules. For some, rather, many, it may be the Ten Commandments. For me, the best working list was the Girl Scout Law. That covers a more realistic life style for me. After that we tweak according to what life throws at us.

So, what is on your plate? I can tell you I have NO LIVER or LUTEFISK. But that doesn't mean all of you can eat it; just don't force it down my throat even if it is Thursday, which as a child meant liver and onions fried in bacon grease with boiled potatoes and carrots, bleck.

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THE TALE OF THE TROUSERS

The next night, which is maid's day off, we went to supper and stopped at another department store. Now he is looking for trousers. He is not pleased with the weight of the fabric, it has gotten lighter and in thirty below zero weather it is darn cold on the bottom. He is too big to buy a boys size, which have less seat. A brand he really likes has made their pants roomier. But we did find a store brand which has a fabric he thinks is okay. I asked him to please try on something with a shorter inseam. I know he likes his trousers to break above the shoe but that is different than blousing at the shoe. He is wearing his pants to long because he doesn't have any hips or buttocks to fill them up.

We had gone to a high end store before but nothing in wash and wear. Only wool. Wool wears out if you have it dry cleaned too much. Our problem is that wash and wear slacks come pre-creased and if you alter the legs the crease is in the wrong place. Another problem is, I don't have vision for remodeling clothes. He knows someone who will tailor and I think that is what he should do....of course, it will be his nickel.

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WHAT TO WEAR PART TWO

And the next night came and off we went with the spreadsheet, the picture of the shirts and the photograph of all the ties. On the back of the ping of shirts, it listed five stores and the brands they carried. I had spent the morning looking at the web sites.

Now, we all know, because we have had to wear clothes for years, that some brands fit better than others. Odd, isn't it, that one brand that was at an upscale store when I was growing up is now a box store brand? Another brand, sold only at sport stores, is now available at a farm store and that has happen in the last few years. I suppose it is all about getting one's product out.

Back to the caper. Tom knew the first thing to do is find the shirts. Collars are important. He stays away from button downs because he thinks it adds minutes to the ironing....or maybe it is because he has Raynard's Syndrome and he can't button the teeny buttons......or maybe both. Personally, button downs look like one is choking. I would not pick it for him.

Now, he trusts me, and that is scary. When he picked up a shirt, the first thing he did was put it under his chin. Even in store light, it was not his color. He has learned that colors that are muddy are just not suitable for him. One of the reasons he looks so healthy is because of the colors he wears. And, if you have a problem with believing this, stand in front of a mirror and put garments under YOUR chin and look at yourself. You will soon learn some make you look, as grandma used to say, "poorly".

He picked another light blue, perhaps as a replacement, as well as a forest green, a clean dark gray, a stripe, and agreed on the raspberry, which I had found the night before. Why didn't we buy it the night before? Well, we were clueless as to what he really needed and the night we went, well, buy $50 and get a $10 coupon. I am thinking Kohl's is one of the few stores that are making it in this recession because they are giving the customer a reason to come back with the coupon~of course, that means the longer you are there, the more you will buy.

The ties were next, I had already picked up the one to match the raspberry. He worked on the others, going first to a diagonal strip in blue. I showed him the picture so he could see just how many like that he already had. It is like me, when I shop for him, I always manage to come home with something with purple. Maybe because lil ol ladies love it, me included, of course.

We got down to the stripe shirt. It is white with a brown stripe and an aqua stripe. This is where the color blind comes in. He could not pick up the color and when he did, he did not see it for what it was. We twirled a lot of tie racks before we found a few that would work, although of the 50+ ties he has in his closet, there may have been something.

The spreadsheet was worth it and so where the pictures. It took us a half a hour to pick out five and five. He did not stray to the belts or underwear, he stayed on task, although we did not find a clear dark purple with a dress shirt collar in fitted nor did we find a yellow fitted.

Let me see, how does this work? I spent most of the morning getting ready and we spend 30 minutes in the store. Does that make the time I spent getting ready profitable? Yes. Why? Because he could shop with knowledge and do it a man's way, in a hurry. Oh, if he only took the time with buying clothes like he does looking for fishing lures.

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WHAT TO WEAR

Grandpa Phil worked for the county. He wore chambre shirts. They were greatly used because they were washed in hot water. To touch them was the softest of fabric.

Daddy wore khaki pants and short sleeve shirts, mostly with a small pattern. His hanky was stuffed in his back pocket with the corners sticking up. I can still see him walking to the garage.

Odd, isn't it, how we dress. A friend told me that her husband is retired and chooses to wear shorts, sandals, and a T shirt. She remembers him dressing to the nines in a shirt, tie, and sport coat. We are about the same age; men dressed in freshly ironed shirts and ties are part of the business world we saw growing up.

My sweet Thomas dresses in a dress shirt and tie to go to his hobby every day. He likes being an owner; he likes the people, he likes the business of service. I think he likes the elders telling him they like purple and like his tie.

I don't know about you folks, but bodies change in shape and clothes need to fit the person. And so it came to pass that instead of regular cut, Tom needed the modern cut. Ties moved from 4" to 3 1/2" and are on there way to 3".

Since he is color blind and I like spoiling him, I lay out his clothes. Well, actually hang out his clothes. I do a couple of weeks at a time to get a good rotation. It would be too easy to put him in shades of purple every day! It is his color. No kidding.

The other day he was looking at the ads for garments in the newspaper and announced he needed to get some new shirts and ties. Hey, I am all for it. He asked the difference between the fabrics and the maintenance involved in each on. I don't like 100% cotton because it creases at the elbows.

Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll......last night we ran errands. We went to a department store. The idea was Tom was going to look at shirts and ties. It didn't go so well. He was off looking at belts and didn't seem to be as interested in what the mission was, although it was his idea.

Since I had already missed NCIS and NCIS LA was half over, we went upstairs and looked in his closet. I asked him to pull what he didn't like in shirts and ties. One shirt and 3 ties later, he was done.

So this morning, I made a spread sheet with all his shirts, the kind of fabric, the brand, and the fit(cut). Then, I took a picture of all of them. Next was to group ties into color groups and take a picture of those. Now all I have to do is count the ties and put them on the sheet. After that, put all of it in an envelope and we will be ready to shop.

As he wears the garments, and decides they are over the hill or the ties are done, he can get rid of them and take them off the list. Tonight we are going shopping again and I will be combat ready. You can bet your diamond earrings on that.

Time to count ties.

Tie one on.

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