Monday, December 22, 2008

WHAT'S COOKING FOR CHRISTMAS?

When Grandpa and Grandma invited their sons and families to their home for Christmas Eve, supper together was part of the celebration. Only one year do I remember it was just for dessert and coffee. They made the announcement early and it felt odd to all of us. Old Trunks never knew the entire story.

Our family arrived a little late. We had celebrated at home and did the dishes before we went to town. Their was an odd spirit in the air when we arrived. Grandma, prone to pursed lips, was, indeed pursed lipped. Harry and his family were visiting quietly among themselves in the living room. Grandpa sat at the table drumming is fingers. And we bolted in laughing and wishing everyone MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

My parents talked about it as we drove around the city and looked at the Christmas lights. Grandpa was in his 80's by now, that should have been a hint for all of us. Why didn't our family potluck? The food could have been brought in; they could have hosted dessert. Was are family trying to be Mr. Fixit?

Yet, now, older and ahem, wiser, I am wondering if something set them off. Did someone hurt their feelings in some way? Where they too proud or too stubborn to talk about it? Or did the family think 'they would get over it'?

There are numerous blogs at this time of the year. The pain some of these families is huge. It seems as if what can be laid aside most of the year surfaces at Yuletide. If people have been rude and cruel the rest of the year, suddenly they are feeling slighted by their families. Will Christmas bring forgiveness from everyone? Are the people so vulnerable under the star of Bethlehem they feel exposed and become decent to their family members? Is the light so bright that when we ourselves are in the light we must forgive because of what the Light is?

Maybe it is a time of reckoning for us. Maybe between the cookies and fudge and twixt the tinsel and the tissue, we naturally think about the equation of friends made or lost. Maybe it is a human thing in a spiritual realm that allows us to peek into our dark corners with a mystical sort of flash light were we may need to look. MAY NEED.

And for folks who can not find gratitude on the first rung of the life scale, how are they going to reach the second? How can they even consider there is an ultimate goal?

Biological and Physiological needs - air, food, drink, shelter, warmth


Safety needs - protection from elements, security, order, law, limits, stability


Belongingness and Love needs - work group, family, affection, relationships


Esteem needs - self-esteem, achievement, mastery, independence, status, dominance, prestige, managerial responsibility


Self-Actualisation needs - realising personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences


Transcendence needs - helping others to achieve self actualisation


And I ask you again, what is cooking for Christmas?

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