Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Random Thoughts from cousin Wesley

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. (Mother had 924 messages on her computer--all of them advertisements).

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. (Mental poo).

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (As a retiree, I have the luxury).

There is great need for a sarcasm font. (My husband would use it all the time).

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
(I had a teacher, Ella was kind enough to show me)

Was learning cursive really necessary?
(It used to be called long hand I got the ruler across my fingers for not learning it like the letters on the wall).

Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. (Same goes for GPS)

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. (They used to).

Bad decisions make good stories.
(And we all have those stories in our Pandora's box)

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. (That is what the undo button is for, if you think you screwed up, USE IT).

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this-- ever. (That is why my angora sweaters of elementary school shrunk to doll size)

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. (Just run to the market for one item and you will see several people you know when you are looking like a scab).

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.. (Ours does, how else could I count all the white-bread-makes-you-dead-loaves.)

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

Maybe I do need the sarcasm font, after all.


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