Saturday, October 6, 2007

DUMB LAWS Alabama to Missouri

The feed back from yesterday's post about Blue Laws was interesting. It appears some of them are still enforced. Car dealerships in Texas, is an example. They may choose which weekend day to be open but they may only be open one day. In North Dakota, retail may open at noon on Sunday.

When my two older children were teenagers, Bud got a ticket for parking on the grass in the front yard. His sister, Rachel, was furious and went to the city office to read about laws affecting Lawrence, KS. Still on the books at that time was a law that you could urinate in the gutter of the street. As for parking your car in the front yard, a ticket was issued but we did learn one could park your vehicle in the back yard.

Here are some dumb laws from other states. This blog will run two days. Today is Alabama to Missouri.

It is illegal to play Dominoes on Sunday.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in a church.
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
In Fairbanks, it is illegal to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
It is illegal to a wake a bear for the purpose of photography, although it is legal to shoot a sleeping bear.
A law in Fairbanks, does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.

In Tucson, it is illegal for women to wear pants.
In Globe, it is illegal to play cards in the street with a Native American.
In Glendale, it is illegal to drive a car in reverse.
In Nogales, it is illegal to wear suspenders.

In Fayetteville, it is illegal to kill any living creature, including insects.
In Little Rock, if a man and a woman flirt with each other in the streets, they could be jailed for 30 days.
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.

It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless it's a whale.
In Pacific Grove, molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
In Pasadena, it is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license.
In Long Beach, it is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.
In San Francisco, it is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.
It is illegal to cry on the witness stand in Los Angeles.
It is illegal to eat oranges in a bathtub.
Due to the ambled name of "Texas Instrument," the TI-82,TI-83,TI-83+,TI-86, and TI-89 were all banished from California. If caught with one, 4 weeks of prison is assigned.
In Ventura County, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.

In Durango, it is illegal to go out in public dressed in clothing unbecoming to one's gender.
In Logan County, it is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
In Pueblo, it is illegal to let a dandelion grow within city limits.

In Hartford, it is illegal to educate a dog.
It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.
In New Britain, the speed limit for fire trucks in 25 mph, even when going to a fire.
In Hartford, it is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on a Sunday.

In Lewes, it is illegal to wear pants that are form-fitting around the waist.
It is illegal to fly over a body of water unless sufficient supplies of food and water are on board.
In Miami, it is illegal for a man to wear of any kind of strapless gown.
Unmarried women who parachute on Sundays may be jailed.
In Sarasota, it is illegal to sing while wearing a bathing suit.
All males in the state between the ages of 16 and 50 are required to work on public roads.
In Columbus, it is illegal to sit on one's porch in an indecent position.
In Quitman, it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
It is illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless the shades are down.
It is illegal to appear in public wearing only swimming trunks.
It is illegal to own a mongoose without a permit.
In Pocatello, the carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless some are exhibited to public view.
Also in the latter town, it is prohibited for pedestrians and motorists to display frowns, grimaces, scowls, threatening and glowering looks, gloomy and depressed facial appearances, generally all of which reflect unfavorably upon the city's reputation.
Boxes of candy given as romantic gifts must weigh more than 50 pounds.
In Chicago, people who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or deformed to the point of being an unsightly or disgusting object are banned from going out in public.
Also in Chicago, it is illegal to fish in pajamas.
One more in Chicago, it is illegal to take a French poodle to the opera.
It is illegal to speak English, the officially recognized language is "American."
A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
In Oblong, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
In Gurnee, it is illegal for women weighing more than 200 pounds to ride horses in shorts.
In Joliet, it is illegal to mispronounce the name Joliet.

Monkeys are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend.
In Gary, it is illegal to attend the theater within four hours of eating garlic.
State law forbids any establishment from charging admission to see a one-armed piano player.
In Fort Madison, fireman are required to practice for 15 minutes before going to a fire.
After lovemaking, men are NOT allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with their wives-or holding them in his arms.
It is illegal for restaurants to sell cherry pie a la mode on Sundays.
In Wichita, it is illegal to carry a concealed bean snapper.
In Lang, it is illegal to ride a mule down Main Street in August, unless the animal is wearing a straw hat.
In Natoma, it is illegal to throw a knife at any one wearing a striped shirt.

It is illegal for a woman to appear in a bathing suit on a highway unless she is a) escorted by at least two police officers, b) armed with a club, or c) lighter than 90 pounds or more than 200 pounds.
It is illegal to remarry the same man four times.
State law stipulates that a person is considered sober until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground".
In New Orleans, fire trucks are required by law to stop at all red lights.
It is considered simple assault to bite someone in New Orleans, but it is aggravated assault if the biter has false teeth.
It is against the law to gargle in public.

In Portland, it is illegal for men to tickle women under the chin with feather dusters.
The most money one can legally win gambling is three dollars.
It Rumford, it is illegal for a tenant to bite his/her landlord.
In Waterville, it is illegal to blow one's nose in public.
In Baltimore, it is illegal to wash or scrub sinks, no matter how dirty they get.
Every person who has bowled since 1833 may be fined $2 for each offence.
In Hale Thorpe, it is illegal to kiss for more than one second.
It's illegal to mistreat oysters.
It's illegal to play Randy Newman's "Short People" on the radio.

In Salem, even married couples are forbidden from sleeping nude in the rented rooms.
It is illegal to wear a goatee without a license.
Dueling with water pistols is illegal.
In Boston, it is illegal for someone to take a bath unless ordered by a physician.
In 1659, Christmas was outlawed.
A man legally owns his wife's hair.
In Detroit, it is illegal to ogle a woman from a moving car.
In Port Huron, the speed limit for ambulances is 20 mph.
Under state law, dentists are officially classified as mechanics.
In Clawson, it is legal for a farmer to "sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens".

Women may face up to 30 days in jail if they impersonate Santa Claus.
In Minneapolis, double parkers can be put on a chain gang.
Every man in Brainerd is required by Law to grow a beard.
It's illegal to tease skunks.
It is still legal to kill one's servant.
In Truro, a would-be groom must prove himself manly prior to marriage by hunting and killing 6 blackbirds or 3 cows.
In Alexandria, no man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
In Saco, women are forbidden from wearing hats that might frighten timid persons, children, or animals.
In St. Louis, it is illegal for an on-duty firefighter to rescue a woman wearing a nightgown. In order to be rescued, a woman must be fully dressed.
While children may purchase shotguns in Kansas City, they are not allowed to buy toy cap guns.
In Merryville, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "The privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male".